Social Worker, Psychotherapist, Family Mediator, Supervisor and Author.

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“When hearts and minds work together we find peace.” (Kam)

Hello everyone, I wish you all a very warm welcome to my ‘About Me’ profile. My name is Kamarun Kalam and I am a 42 year old British Muslim.

I was born and raised in Uxbridge Middlesex in the UK but moved to Birmingham aged 11. My late parents were first generation Bangladeshi and passed away when I was in my 20’s. I was raised straddling two worlds- trying to fit in with traditional Bengali customs (to please my parents) and living as a British Muslim. I had to embrace both cultures whilst navigating my way through childhood and learned a lot about life quite early on. …


Butterflies, nerves and excitement

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The doorbell rings..

Oh my lord he’s early

I suddenly become all shy and girlie

Knock knock.. oh he’s an impatient one

Maybe, I should bail and run?

But no it’s not nice to shun, I shall stay

I open the door and I say..

Hi how are you…. Where are we going today?”

His answer is mysterious..

Sounding all imperious he says “You’ll find out when we get there.”

“Oh gosh am I dressed right for the occasion?”

I ask in the hope of gentle persuasion,

“Are you trying to get clues on where we are going?”

He laughs out loud and can’t hide his…


And who gave it to you?

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Advice giving is not an easy task but everyone does it now and then. Sometimes when it's not wanted as well. Advice is often given based on our own experiences of life, after all, we only have our own frame of reference to go by. Speaking from my own experience I have had multiple pearls of wisdom from friends, family, and colleagues over the years. Some not so good advice as well. However, I have to say hands down that the best advice I have ever been given was by my late father.

He valued education and had a solid work ethic. He had worked most of his life from the age of 11 upwards and was orphaned at a young age. He started to earn a living traveling from village to village in Bangladesh teaching the local children English. This taught him the value of standing on his own two feet early on and working hard to earn a living. He was self-taught and loved studying. It was through his study that he was able to settle in England and continue his passion for teaching. …


Do not open until…

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Have you ever written to your future self? Well I have … and I got my predictions wrong! When I left school aged 16 in 1995 my friends and I decided to write letters to our future selves and store them away to read in 5 years time. I was the gatekeeper so was tasked to store the letters in a safe place not to be opened until the turn of the century in the year 2000. I predicted that in 5 years time I would be renting my own place, working full time as a social worker and enjoying being single. …


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Night thoughts…


Learned through my own experiences

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  1. The soul feels joy, warmth, and peace when in the service of helping others.

I have spent my entire career in the helping professions from Social Work, to Family Mediation to Psychotherapy. It all began in my childhood when I was the mediator and helper in my own family. I then became the helper and supporter among my school friends and found my way through to studying a degree in Social Work and years later in Counseling. After graduating I worked across many roles and each one fulfilled a purpose in life for me. I wanted to help struggling families and safeguard abused children so I worked on the front line in child protection teams. …


Near-death experiences are our only insight so far.

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This question has held so much intrigue and fascination for me since a very young age. Death was introduced to me quite early on when I lost my great grandmother as a young child. Ever since this time I have pondered on this topic and researched it wherever I can in religious scriptures, journals, articles and on TV documentaries. It is impossible to know for sure what happens after death because nobody has actually died and returned to life to tell us. The closest we have come to uncovering this mystery is from accounts of those who have lived through near-death experiences. …


Having patience in the face of all unexpected and unwanted outcomes is Sabr…

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As we commence our individual life journeys into 2021 I am acutely aware of how the world is still grappling with the global pandemic. There are many local lock-downs still taking place across different countries and we are having to endure further difficulties that have tested us consistently throughout the past year. Difficulty in relationships, in the loss of jobs and financial security. Struggles with mental health and loneliness, the feelings of pressure, dread and the uncertainty that this virus has placed on society has created much anxiety on us all as a human race.

So how do we continue in such a climate? What can we do to keep up our spirits and manage the challenges of daily life under lock down restrictions? The only way is through learning the art of patience. We have no control over what is happening outside of us but we can learn and develop ourselves in relation to accepting the current reality. This will take a whole heap of patience. …


What does that actually mean?

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Radical acceptance is when we accept our reality as it is, even when we don’t like it or want to. It is a means of managing instead of resisting the things that we cannot change. Radical acceptance is basically a distress tolerance skill that is meant to keep pain from turning into longer term suffering. Just to clarify it is not that we approve of something completely, but we choose to accept it because we cannot change it. Therefore fighting it creates all sorts of pain and suffering. In order to free ourselves from this negative spiral, we have to first accept reality as it is and learn how to make things more bearable. …

About

Kamarun Kalam BA SW/ BACP Acc

Hi I’m a Social Worker, Psychotherapist, Family Mediator, Author and Supervisor. To learn more visit www.talkwellcounselling.co.uk 😃

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